The Hordes Are Upon Us, But We Will Not Relent

Ryba (Capital - Westwind [67:32]), Warlord of the Eternal Flames, continues his arrogant and cowardly attacks against us, even though our Exalted High Diplomat and Envoy to the People, Ambassador Anthony, trounced him convincingly in an epic naval duel earlier this week. I'm sure you've heard the bards singing the praises of our lusty Commissar in the taverns recently.

This fair and righteous duel was meant to end the escalating conflict between our two Empires, but it's obvious that Ryba is nothing more than a barbarian, and understands little of the ways of gentlemanly combat. The Flames, having been struck a terrible blow to their pride as a result of Ryba's embarrassing losses, seek revenge on Ambassador Anthony, and even had the gall to mount a number of half-hearted attacks against his hometown of Fancy Land. The Ambassador, in a weakened state following his heroic efforts at the duel, let a few of these cutthroats escape the island with gold in their pockets... but not before personally skewering a few dozen of them on the end of his sword, so I hear!

Well, my friends, we Owls vigorously accept this challenge against one of our own. Last night a contingent of my heavily-armed Flamethrowers sailed boldly into the port of Recluce [66:33], hoisting the banner of Bisonopolis, where they met little resistance from the rotten planks which are called a navy by "Ryba the Cowardly." A small group of hearty and fresh young warriors hit the shores soon after, eager for a fight. The barbarians, lazy and drunk, were caught completely off guard by our fearsome blitz, and fell quickly to our spears and arrows. (And their women, I daresay, fell quickly to our charm and sweet Owl Country wine!) That night the taverns of Bisonopolis were filled with singing and laughter late into the night - even Ambassador Anthony joined us for some merrymaking, though he was recovering from some rather ghastly battle wounds.

Of course, I envisioned that such an attack, as righteous as it was, would incur the wrath of Ryba, being as he is a feeble-minded warlord. I'm sure he can suffer no further embarrassment before his people (though he is destined to). As I am writing this, black sails and patchwork banners from no less than THREE Countries of the Eternal Flames are heading in great numbers to Bisonopolis to wage war against us. Cowards! Their ranks swell well into the thousands, most likely bolstered by slaves and pig farmers.

Comrades, this is likely not a battle we will win, but surely we will fight with the honor and strength of an Owl, our monocles shining in the sun, and tales of our valiance will be spread even amongst the Hordes!

FOR THE GLORY OF OWL COUNTRY! '(o)v(o)'